By Jinqu
I’m a model painter, and have been working in a foundry for five or six years. I’m sure that I am a veteran worker. With my excellent professional skill, I was spoken highly of by the factory leaders and we were in good relationships. But recently, the manager often went against me by finding fault with my work, which made me depressed and suppressed.
My Products Got a Negative Remark and I Was Annoyed
One day, Manager Di asked me to paint more than two hundred models with white latex. I finished the work as carefully as usual. The next day, however, when Manager Di looked at the dried models, he unpleasantly said to me, “The paint is too thin. It’s unsightly. Paint again with more latex!” Hearing his commanding voice, I was extremely reluctant inside. I thought: I’ve been doing this work for years. Surely I don’t know better than you? Don’t command me! You’re just a factory manager who knows nothing but intimidating workers by authority. And besides, it took me a long time to paint these models, but now you want me to paint them again. It is intentional! Being annoyed, I retorted disapprovingly, “I’ve been working for so many years. Surely I don’t know how to paint? The models will bubble if painted too much…” “Shut up and do as I told you! Paint again if you want to stay here; if not, just get out of my factory!” He interrupted me and said abruptly. I was very angry at his words, but I had no choice but to do as he commanded to hold my job down.
Reluctantly, I repainted those models with more latex, which resulted in more bubbles as I expected. Then the manager had to have these models smoothed and polished. Seeing this, I couldn’t let it go, thinking: It’s all your fault. I gotta talk to you. You shouldn’t pretend to be an expert and disturb my work. Then I said to the manager: “Look, I have told you not to paint too thick, but you didn’t listen…” The manager gave me a dirty look and left before I finished talking. Watching him leaving and picturing his finding fault with my work imperiously, I had a feeling of being wronged but couldn’t complain. The more I thought, the angrier I became.
Guided by God’s Word, I Recognized That My Arrogance Was the Direct Cause
After I got home at night, I prayed to God, “God, why has this thing happened to me? Why does the manager often go against me? God, I really get mad at the manager’s attitude towards me. I feel so sad. Please guide and enlighten me!” After praying, I read a passage of God’s word which said: “Corrupt people without any status will also frequently lose control. Their anger is frequently caused by damage to their individual benefits. In order to protect their own status and dignity, corrupt mankind will frequently vent their emotions and reveal their arrogant nature. Man will flare up in anger and vent his emotions in order to defend the existence of sin, and these actions are the ways with which man expresses his dissatisfaction. These actions brim with defilement; they brim with schemes and intrigues; they brim with man’s corruption and evil; more than that, they brim with man’s wild ambitions and desires.” “Under what circumstances are people usually arrogant? (When they have personal capital, some gifts, some skills, or they can do something practical.) If you say that, then is a person who doesn’t have any gifts or have any skills not arrogant? (Yes.) This is one condition where a type of arrogant disposition is expressed. It is expressed under this condition … as soon as someone becomes arrogant they lose all reason, they don’t know shame, and they become foolish. They are just foolishly arrogant. This is all very arrogant and is the revealing and expression of arrogance, isn’t it? … With an arrogant disposition there will certainly be an expression of arrogance, and there will certainly be arrogant words and actions. Isn’t that the case? (Yes.) That is correct.”
Thanks to the revelation of God’s word, I understood why I was suppressed. It was because I was too arrogant to give in to anyone. As a veteran worker, I always thought I was trustworthy and my opinion was right. And the manager shouldn’t yell at me imperiously but take my advice. So when he didn’t show respect to me, I was annoyed and retorted him to save face. But when I failed to stop him from putting on official airs and finding fault with me, I was more suppressed and annoyed. After reading God’s word, I began to reflect on myself and realized that what I had manifested was all arrogant and even malicious disposition. I had been trying to fight against the manager’s official airs for sustaining my dignity and building up my prestige in the public. I was too senseless. Not an ounce of the likeness of a Christian to be found! I was reminded of the great and holy God humbly hiding among us. He never relies on status nor shows off or boasts, but supplies us by expressing the truth silently and equally interacts with us. On the contrary, I am only a tiny creature, a corrupted man, but always showed off and boast in the public, trying to make others see that I was more knowledgeable than them. How ugly I have been! With my ugly disposition being recognized, I made a resolution before God that I would never live by arrogant disposition again. I would put myself aside to be humble and patient, and interact normally with others.
With Arrogant Nature Coming Out Once More, I Quarreled With the Manager Again
Afterward, whatever the manager arranged for me, I would do as he demanded, so we seldom quarreled. After some time, I thought that I had some changes in my arrogant disposition and I was more patient with the manager. However, when Manager Di found fault with my work again, I was still annoyed with him so much that my arrogant nature involuntarily came out again.
He once said to me, “Look, you’ve done a bad job on this model. The lining holes are not well painted. And it should be thicker. Here’s another thing, don’t be so hurry on the work you started two days ago. It’s not urgent. I told you to put it aside, but you didn’t listen. You know that there’s not enough room for those models in our factory. You are so stubborn!” Hearing his words, my heart sank. I thought: I am working well. Why do you often find fault with my work and scold me? I am not easy to bully! So I couldn’t help but retort, “You criticize me if I don’t work, and find fault with me when I do work. Why are you so hard to please?” Manager Di just ignored me and left. At that time, I felt terribly wronged, firmly believing that he was intentionally going against me. And I didn’t want to stand him anymore.
For several days afterward, I kept going against the manager. I retorted whenever he criticized me only to make him find fault with me more frequently. I was agitated inside and felt cheap. I thought: I can’t work here anymore if you goes on finding fault with me. At the worst, I will turn hostile to you and I will hunt a job in another place. It is no big deal.
God’s Word Is the Best Medicine for Arrogance
I was sad because of the constant quarrels with the manager, so I went back to God to pray to Him and seek the truth. I saw God’s words: “No matter how much injustice you feel you have suffered, how much sweat and effort you have put in, or how much your reputation, vanity, and honor have been damaged, these are in fact secondary; the important thing is to turn your state around. What state? Whether people are in a situation of making mistakes or not making mistakes, whatever it may be — even in normal circumstances — they harbor a kind of hardened, rebellious thing in the depths of their hearts. Moreover, they have a form of logical thinking in their hearts that says, ‘As long as what I do is right and my intentions are right, You should not deal with me, so I do not have to submit.’ This is human reasoning, is it not? They do not mention whether what they have done conforms to the truth or what consequences it leads to; they say, ‘As long as I have a good heart and don’t have malicious intentions, You should accept me.’ This is human reasoning, is it not? This is human reasoning, and in it there is no submission. You regard your own reasoning as the truth, and treat the truth as superfluous. The truth is only reasonable to you when it is in line with your own reasoning; when it is not in line with your own reasoning, you think it is unreasonable.”
From God’s words, I knew that my quarrels with the manager were caused by my own arrogant and hardened disposition. I believed that the manager shouldn’t find fault with me when I did nothing wrong, otherwise, I had reason to fight back. Now that I had made concessions, he should have stopped bullying me. So when he infringed on my interests by finding fault with my work, I couldn’t stand it and fought back with Satan’s life philosophy of “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” I even thought about responding with strikes. Now I found that I was living by Satan’s life philosophy that “I am my own lord throughout heaven and earth.” I was arrogant, obstinate and malicious. There was no change in my disposition at all. Before that, I thought I had some changes in disposition, but now I knew they were merely external changes, and I was just following rules. I was restraining myself from going against the manager, not genuinely practicing the truth. God revealed me in this way to make me change so that I would no longer live by Satan’s philosophy but by truth which I should practice. This was God’s will and God’s demand of me.
The Solution Is Putting Myself Aside and Practicing the Truth
Afterward, I read another passage of God’s word: “Approval from God is the first thing you should think about and work for; it should be the principle and scope in your practice. The reason that you should determine if what you are doing conforms with truth is because if it conforms with truth, then it certainly conforms with God’s will. It is not that you should determine if the matter is right or wrong, or if it is in accordance with everyone else’s tastes, or if it is in accordance with your own desires. Rather, it is to determine if it is in accordance with truth …. If you don’t consider these aspects and merely rely on your own will to do things, then you are guaranteed to do them incorrectly, because the will of man is not the truth and of course is not in conformance with God. If you want to be approved by God, then you must practice according to the truth, rather than according to your own intentions.” “We are common people; we are ordinary people. Do not think of yourself as being so noble or great. Even if you possess some special talents, skills, or strengths, they are nothing to brag about. You must first stand in the right position, the proper position. In this way, you will not make a mountain out of a molehill when you encounter problems or find yourself in various situations, and you will be able to submit. You must see through these things that surround you; if you are truly unable to submit, you find them too upsetting, and they are affecting your life, then pray and implore God to act. Allow God to make arrangements; allow God to do His work. We humans should not do it ourselves. If it’s God’s intention to hone us in such an environment, then we should submit, and we should allow ourselves to be honed until a result is achieved; we should allow ourselves to be honed until we are as humans should be and can show this to God and satisfy God. First, though, you must have this resolve to suffer.”
Like a beacon, God’s words enlightened my heart, pointing out to me the path I should take. When dealing with things, I should think about whether my behavior is in accordance with God’s will and the truth; I should not always consider my own ideas, my own feelings, or if the matter is right or wrong. This is what I a believer should do. Even though I did nothing wrong and the manager still found fault with me often, I should not have gone against him through my arrogant nature. I should put all in the hand of God, allow God to work in me and learn to obey whatever plans God had for me. This was the sense that I should possess. After realizing this, I was not that sad and was willing to actively practice and experience God’s word in real life. Then I came before God and prayed: “Oh God, I have been acting with my own intentions these days and have put Your words to the back of mind. Now I have realized my arrogant and hardened disposition. God, I am willing to repent and practice the truth, but my stature is so immature that I’m always deceived by Satan into acting with hot blood. God, I pray that You protect my heart and stay with me.”
The First Time I Put Truth Into Practice, Which Filled Me With Joy
One day at eight o’clock, I started to work while the manager came to me. In a bureaucratic tone, he said, “The steel casting riser is a little big. It’s unacceptable. Shorten it by one centimeter!” I argued, “No, it’s unacceptable. It will make bubbles if one centimeter shortened.” The manager replied, “That’s not what you should worry about! Just do as I told you!” I thought: You know nothing about the job. I will definitely do it again if I makes it shorter. At that time, I really wanted to argue with him. But remembering my vow before God, I thought: I should practice the truth. I shouldn’t act on my arrogant nature anymore. I used to quarrel with him, which didn’t work but made me annoyed every time. And he found fault with me more often after that. For this time, I will not act on my own desires. Instead, I will forsake the flesh to talk to him politely. Accordingly, I prayed to God silently to make me obedient to His arrangement. After praying, I calmed down and talked to the manager in a polite way, but he didn’t adopt my suggestion and still asked me to shorten the riser.
Four days later, he said to me, “You’ve made the riser too small. Extend it by half centimeter.” I really resented his words. And I complained in my heart: You told me to shorten it. But now you want to extend it again. You are making trouble with me. You big idiot! The more I thought, the more I resented. I really wanted to have a fight with him, but I suddenly realized that it was my arrogant nature coming out again, which made me want to fight back. If I did it, it showed that I had no reverence for God in my heart. I had prayed to God that I would never act on my corrupted disposition, so today I should be obedient and act in accordance with God’s word. Thinking of this, I choked back a sharp reply and said to him with a smile, “OK, I’ll do it as what you said.” Seeing that I didn’t contradict him as before, Manager Di said to me with surprise, “You are talking differently today!” I smiled and said, “From now on, I will talk to you calmly.” Then, we both smiled.
A few days later, the manager came to me again. This time, he calmly said to me, “Machine the riser in the original size, please!” I paused and wondered why he didn’t put on official airs today. Then I suddenly realized that all this was the work of God and arranged by God. Then I remembered God’s words which said: “The heart and spirit of man are held in the hand of God, and all the life of man is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is how God rules over all things.” It is true that everything is in the hand of God. People’s ideas and thoughts shift according to God’s thoughts. God designed that situation for me to change my arrogant disposition, which didn’t disappear unless I stopped revealing arrogant disposition like locking horns and resisting. When I was practicing according to the truth, Manager Di had a new attitude towards me that he didn’t scold me imperiously nor found fault with my work. I felt the joy of practicing the truth, and then I resolved before God that I would never do things based on my hot-bloodedness. I would let God’s word have dominion within me and be the one who practices the truth.
When I Changed, the Manager Also Changed
Several days later, we got to shape some new models. The manager asked me to machine the models in a smaller size than usual. I didn’t agree with him, but I didn’t argue, because I guessed that perhaps he had reasons to say so. Then I went to shape the models as he had required. After I finished forty models, we found that they didn’t work, so the manager asked me to reshape these finished products, which would take me a lot of time and energy to burnish, hammer and polish. I got annoyed again: It was you that made this mistake, but you asked me to correct it. I still have other work to do, and you are just wasting my time! I was reluctant to do it and wanted to reason with the manager again. But, the last experience reminded me that this matter was allowed by God. I shouldn’t live by my arrogant disposition but should forsake the flesh to be obedient anyway. Both the living and dead things are in the hand of God, and I should practice the truth and be obedient before God. Thinking of these, I felt relaxed. Then I replied calmly, “OK, I will reshape them when I finish my work at hand.”
Two days later, when I finished my work and went to shape those models again, the manager suddenly said to me, “You don’t need to shape them again. Just machine the rest according to the original size.” Hearing the manager’s words, I was so thankful to God. I was again conquered by the fact in front of me. God is really almighty. It is true that all people, things and matters are in the hand of God, and they will renew, change and disappear according to His thoughts. When I was acting in accordance with God’s words and didn’t argue with the manager through my arrogant disposition, not only did my corrupt disposition achieve a little change, but Manager Di also had a new attitude towards me. I truly felt that I would be free and liberated when I put truth into practice. Since then, I didn’t hate Manager Di as much as before. I was not sad but relaxed during work. I truly felt that it was really good to practice the truth and live by God’s word!
My Realization After That Experience
Afterward, I read another passage of God’s word: “The truth is indeed the life of human beings. It is not an academic discipline, it is not knowledge, and it is neither folklore nor theory; it is the life of human beings. It can make you live with direction and purpose, and can enable you to escape from Satan’s bondage and free yourself from your corrupt disposition, making you more powerful, making you live with strength, and making you live with purpose and live more comfortably.” From my personal experiences, I saw that I was so deeply corrupted by Satan that I was completely constrained by the arrogant disposition. I was often unknowingly deceived by Satan and lived in pain. Only God’s words can enable me to escape from Satan’s bondage and free myself from my corrupt disposition; Only God’s words can point out to me the ways and correct directions of doing things and conducting myself and bring me the spiritual freedom and liberation. Recalling my recent experiences, I saw that it was God’s words that brought some changes in my arrogant disposition. It was also God’s words that made me stronger and made me look more and more human as I live, and enabled me to obey the people, things and matters that I met. Truth is the best medicine for the arrogant disposition. As long as I pursue the truth hard, my arrogant disposition can be changed, even though it is a chronic disease. Thank God and all glory be to Almighty God!
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