What to Do When Scolded by Your Boss?

The scoldings from bosses and the friction with co-workers are common and intolerable for us working people, but there is no way to avoid them. Then how should we respond to these things?

By An Qi, China

At night, a bright moon, hanging in the dark blue sky, was shining. The moonlight laid across the surface of the water at the edge of the city, which seemed like a silver ribbon, silent and deep. With brilliant light fading from the city, the deserted street was very quiet, and occasionally one or two persons rode the bike at a gallop. “I quit. I can’t stand it. I’ve never suffered this since I was born.” Xinyu’s complaints broke the quietude of the street. Turning red, she continued angrily, “Sister Wen, I won’t go to work tomorrow!” Then she rode the bicycle forcefully, as if venting her displeasure.

Listening to Xinyu’s complaints patiently, and pondering for a few minutes, Xiwen said: “Xinyu, the moment we run up against difficulties, we want to back up. We are just shirking the environments created by God, but shirking can’t solve the problem. Even if you leave for another work place, can you ensure that you won’t run up against difficulties? The people, events and things we encounter every day are arranged by God, so instead of analyzing right or wrong, and looking for other’s causes, we should receive all from God and learn to experience, face and solve the problems with truth. Shirking the problems is a cowardly act. …” After listening to her words, Xinyu calmed down and felt comforted gradually. She thought these words over: Yeah, what environments I encounter every day are arranged by God so I shouldn’t lock horns. I should receive all from God, and seek God’s will. In thinking about this, she called out to God in her heart right then: “God, I couldn’t receive all things from You. Also, I couldn’t understand Your will. God, may You guide me to understand Your kind intention.”

After getting home, Xinyu threw her bag casually down on the sofa, and lay down with exhaustion, looking at the white celling. What happened in the restaurant during these days flashed before her eyes: “Zhou Xinyu, it is so dirty under the table, hurry up and sweep now!” “Zhou Xinyu, the guests have left, clean the table quickly!” “Zhou Xinyu, can’t you rush to do it? Don’t dawdle, hurry up!” … Thinking of these, Xinyu felt her face burning, with tears sliding down from the corners of her eyes silently. When she began her new job in the fast food restaurant, she couldn’t even memorize the table number clearly, but she was assigned to dish up. Since there were so many things to be carried, and the stairs were so long and steep, she served the dishes a little slowly of course. However, not considering her lacking experience at all, the supervisor always bawled her out in the view of guests: “Zhou Xinyu, run quickly! Even aunts are faster than you, aren’t you full?” After these words, everyone in the restaurant turned their eyes toward Xinyu uniformly, which brought a rush of blood to her cheeks. She wanted to find a hole in the ground to hide in, daring not to lift up her head to look the unwanted attention face-to-face. Yet, she had no choice but to wipe the sweat from her brow and continue to run back and forth. The scoldings from the supervisor were incessant, which almost broke her back. She was full of complaints, but there was no one she could expressed them to. What’s worse, she was treated like an outcast by all of her co-workers and leaders in the restaurant. … Just as it was time to go home today, an aunt told her discontentedly, “Girl, you serve the dishes alone for four hours tomorrow!” “Is there no one to help me?” Whispered Xinyu. The aunt said with a weird expression on her face, “None, only you!” Xinyu’s heart sank at once. She thought: There are so many guests in the restaurant. Even if two veteran workers serve dishes together, their hands will be full. Now I am required to do it alone, can I hold on it? At the thought of the scene of being scolded the next day, Xinyu could hardly endure it and thought that she couldn’t make it, so she decided to give up. However, Xiwen’s words made her abate her resolution. Xinyu wiped her tears, kept her temper and couldn’t help asking herself: Why don’t I want to face the environment? What is the reason that I choose to shrink? Then Xinyu knelt beside the bed and prayed for God to lead her to find the root of the problem.

After prayer, Xinyu saw God’s words, “People do not require much of themselves, but they require much of others. They must be patient and forbearing of them, cherish them, provide for them, smile at them, be accommodating to them, and yield to them. They must take care of them in many ways, and they cannot be strict with them, provoke them, or do anything that they would not like. Man’s reason is so lacking! … You fuss with so many matters; today you mind this matter and tomorrow you mind that. Someone may give you a bad glance, look down on you or ignore you, or God may speak a word which provokes you, weighs on you, hurts you, hurts your self-esteem, pricks your heart, or you may not be treated with courtesy when having meals, or something nice is given to someone else instead of you. You think too much, your heart is too complicated, you are too unreasonable, your integrity is too low, and you are too troublesome and difficult to deal with” (“People Who Always Have Requirements for God Are the Least Reasonable”). And Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life says, “People all give in to vanity, and especially care about self-respect. They can suffer a litter in the flesh, but can never endure suffering a loss of face. If anyone says or does something that damage their image, make them lose face, then they will regard him as an enemy and go against him. People will do whatever it takes to maintain their vanity and pride, even to the extent that they justify their fault, and confuse right and wrong” (“The Connection Between Knowing Yourselves and the Transformation of Life Disposition”).

Not until then did she feel a little brightened in her heart. She finally understood that her pains weren’t from her co-workers and supervisor, but the afflictions of satanic poisons of leaving a name for yourself and of saving face. She had attained her sustenance from Satan’s poison, so she saw face and status as being as important as her lifeblood. She thought that if she won the high regard of all, her life would be more colorful; while if she was looked down upon by others, her life would be meaningless. Thinking since she came into this restaurant, afraid of being looked down upon by others and being laughed at for her not knowing how to do anything, she had never dared to consult others or ask others for help actively, even though she had some difficulties in her work. She just watched them in secret and absorbed their experience. During working, in order to leave a good impression on others, she did things very tentatively, fearing that she would be scolded for some problems. Nevertheless, the more she was afraid, the more mistakes she made. When the supervisor scolded her arbitrarily, regardless of under what situation, she thought that the supervisor was aiming at her to make her embarrassed. When the co-workers made use of her, she felt quite averse, and thought: Everyone is looking down upon me; if it is not true, why do they always order me about? … In this way, Xinyu often worried about personal gains and losses because of her face and reputation. And she only thought about how her co-workers and supervisor thought of her every day. Once their talks made her lose her face, she would be very sensitive and vulnerable, and thought that they all despised her and looked down upon her. Until now, she realized that face and status were her shackles, and that these satanic poisons are cancers. She living by such things can only be harmed by them.

Later, she read these words of God: “What kind of changes must a person make…? What must a person obtain before he can free himself of the vexations of these things, loosen the bonds of these things, and be able truly to be free and liberated? On one hand, a person must see through things: These reputations and positions are tools and methods for Satan to corrupt people, to entrap them, to cause their degeneration, and to harm them. You must first see clearly this aspect in theory. … First, you must see through them, and then you must learn to give up these things and set them aside” (“You Can Obtain Truth After Turning Your True Heart Over to God”). From God’s words, Xinyu knew that if she truly wanted to be free and liberated, first she must see through face and status which are means for Satan to corrupt her. Then she must set her face and status aside actively, and fight with the corrupted disposition actually. In fact, she knew that she did the work slowly and awkwardly, and she still made some mistakes especially when the tide of patronage was at its best. It was normal that her supervisor spoke in a severe voice to her. But being excessively concerned about her image and looking herself highly and honourably, she was petty and became more and more narrow-minded. She always had difficulties in setting these things aside, and even guessed that the other co-workers were aiming at her. She was subject to Satan’s affliction and trickery totally. As a Christian, she should not seek to be looked upon, and it is meaningless. Compared with face and status, pursuing to be approved by God is the most valuable thing. Xinyu thought carefully: Yeah! If I don’t live in accordance with God’s word, no matter how many people look up to me, won’t I still belong to Satan in God’s eyes? If I can comport myself according to the truth, won’t I cast off the bonds of satanic poisons? Being clear about these, than be controlled by image, Xinyu would rather learn to change her views on pursuit, obey the environments God arranges every day and practice God’s word. No matter what she would do, she thought that it was enough to do it with all her heart and strength.

The next day, not avoiding the difficulty and not turning back, Xinyu came to work as usual. She called out to God silently in her heart: “God, no matter what will happen today, I am willing to obey Your sovereignty and arrangements. …” To her surprise, in the morning meeting, the supervisor told the aunt beside her: “Aunt, you serve the dishes with Xinyu today. She is new here, please teach her more.” Listening to the supervisor’s words, Xinyu was moved so much. She had never expected that the supervisor’s attitude would have a one-hundred-eighty-degree turn. After several servings, the aunt complained: “Look at yourself, so slowly you work! It is so busy now; if you make a mistake, the supervisor will blame me. …” Hearing this, Xinyu blushed at once, and didn’t know how to respond. She thought: I indeed do the work slowly, but I really have tried my best. Why don’t you understand me at all? You treated me as worthless, then how will the others think of me? … Realizing that she began to be controlled by image again, Xinyu prayed to God in her heart immediately and asked God to guide her to deal with the aunt correctly. At this point, she thought of God’s words: “For example, in some issue you revealed selfishness — you were really selfish, thinking of your own image — how can this be resolved? First you have to put your own image aside, and think: ‘I want to say that to protect my own image, but I immediately realized that saying that to protect my image would be selfish and despicable. Saying that is for my own intent; it’s despicable and it shows a corrupt disposition. I can’t speak based on that, but I should speak based on this. I should reveal myself, show my true face, and genuinely speak out the thoughts in my heart. I’d rather throw my own image aside, not protect it, and not gratify my vanity.’ … It will see that it has corrupted you and made you protect yourself, made you selfish, and made you consider your own image, but these things can no longer bind you. When it sees this, it will think: ‘I’m out of ideas for this. They broke free and are not controlled by this; they are not controlled by vain images or by their personal interest. They are putting the truth into practice.’Wouldn’t it be shamed?” (“The Key to Entering Into Life Must Start From Fulfilling Your Duty”). God’s words pointed out the way to practice the truth for Xinyu: Although I always reveal corrupt satanic dispositions, I should betray myself consciously and not protect my own face and status, and then I will break away from the bondage of the corrupt dispositions gradually. Just then, than disguise herself, Xinyu would rather throw her image aside and never protect it again. Then she humbled herself on her own initiative, opened her heart and told the aunt: “Aunt, this is my first time to do the work, and I have no experience, so I can do nothing. I know I do the work so slowly that I get you involved. If there are complaints from guests or any mistaken serving, I will undertake the responsibility by myself. If there is a mistake in my work, you can tell me and I will correct it.” Being shocked by Xinyu’s words, the aunt felt embarrassed and smiled a little, saying: “As a matter of fact, my daughter is about the same age as you, but she does nothing all day. The work here is so hard but you are still willing to learn it. My daughter is less sensible than you!” In Xinyu’s heart, she knew that she was the same as the aunt’s daughter, being spoiled and incapable of taking care of herself. But for God’s guidance, she would still be the coward escaping from difficulties, and the chicken refusing to take advice from others to protect her image. It is the guidance of God’s words that makes her not pretend herself any more, but be willing to set her vain image aside, learn to recognize her own deficiencies and inadequacies, and take on her mistakes bravely. So she felt more and more relaxed and liberated!

In the days that followed, Xinyu prayed to God and let God guide her daily work. Though there were still mistaken servings, she could accept others’ advice and correct her mistakes in time when the others pointed them out. Also, when she encountered something she was unable to do during working, she could set her image aside and consult others actively. One day, Xinyu overheard such dialogue: “In our restaurant, Xinyu is a girl of easy temper. Even if we spoke with a bad tone to her, she has never been angry.” “So it is! When she just came here, she was clumsy and could do nothing, but she is modest and eager to learn. Now, she does fairly well!” By this time, Xinyu couldn’t stop thanking and praising God: “God, it is You that change me. But for Your enlightenment and guidance time and again, I would still live for my worthless dignity painfully and couldn’t get along with others. Thanks for Your leading me to have a right way to practice!”

The burning sun shining brightly at noon, Xinyu weaved around guests busily and served them group by group. Though the work was hard, her heart felt sweet and happy at the moment …

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Hey, I'm Mary. I’m pursuing to be a devout christian. May God bless us! May we all treat our life with God’s Words. Amen!

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Hey, I'm Mary. I’m pursuing to be a devout christian. May God bless us! May we all treat our life with God’s Words. Amen!